Remembering

It's funny what will trigger memories.  Sometimes, it is a song, or a person that reminds you of someone or something.  Sometimes it's a smell.  I'm big on sniffing, it's one of my stronger senses (making up for my crappy hearing, maybe).  I can get a whiff of new plastic, and am instantly transported back to the christmas mornings of my childhood.  Aaahhh....nothing like the smell of a new barbie in the morning.  Or bleach, and I'm right back in my childhood home. In my single, dating days, the guy had to 'smell right' or I was out of there.  Not just cologne or that kinda thing, but I could always just get a sense of the person if it wasn 't quite right.  Good thing Lar smelled ok!  If I need comfort, his chest is the first place I go for a big sniff.

Music is also huge for me, and I have to be careful not to listen to certain songs or artists if I'm in a blue mood, as it will plunge me deeper.  Same goes for happy stuff.  I can hear Tom Petty's "Free Fallin" and think of my Sister and Jimeyer free falling and being goofy, an am instantly feeling happy.

I recently read a travel log,  and in it the author mused that each time she travels, she seems to take someone in memory with her, as much as she takes away new experiences.  I loved this idea.  So many things have reminded me of my two Grandmothers since I have been in Sing. Both gone now, I feel them all the time here. I feel my Grandma Kay (aka: Big Red) in the the really nifty grasscloth place mats, and satin chinese wall hangings she would have loved, and I'm sure, had in her own home.  So many of the tchotchke type things I pick up here and there, in Singapore, and in our travels, remind me of her.  I know I look a lot like her; I have her complexion, face shape, and eye color.  But never has it been more apparent that I seem to also have her penchant for the slightly tacky.  Leopard print was her favorite.  I love it too.  I feel she would have been dazzled beyond belief at all the fabulous treasures in China town and Little India.  I can't count how many times I've said to Larry, "Oh, Big Red would LOVE that". Gone With The Wind was her very favorite book and movie, and it was on t.v. the other day.  I watched the whole thing, just because I thought I should at some point in my life, to see what she thought was so great about it.  I get it, I loved it. So I can now attribute my sometimes overly romantic and emotional side partly to her.

I also sense my Grams (aka:Mart).  The minute I found out we had marble and hardwood floors, my heart ached a little because she would have loved nothing more than to help me figure out how to wash and care for them.  She would have loved the swanky drapes, and approved of the tiled kitchen (easy cleanup). And in her own funny way, would have made a few wise cracks about who was riding who when we rode the elephants.  She is with me as I figure out how to get stains out of my husbands clothes, and she would have cracked up at the new tie dye t-shirts Larry now has ( read: too much bleach...ooops.)  I am sometimes looked at as a curiosity here in Sing, mainly because of my size.  It gets old, and sometimes I get my feelings hurt. I use her method of defense that she taught me as a child and I was being stared at "Just look at their shoes."  It works!  She lovingly pops into my head when I'm being a wimp, and I smile as I hear her voice and the trademark "ohfergodsake, get a grip".  I think she would be happy with the progress I've made working out, and she would remind me I only need to lose "hhmm...maybe 1 or 2 pounds".  I smelled her perfume; white linen, the other day, and thought "Hi Grams, felt like coming to the wet market, huh?".  I saw a movie she would have loved "I am Legend" and even though I hated all the violence and suspense,  I think she was enjoying it through me.  It was right up her alley.  Yuck.

In their own different ways, they were both really good Grandmas.  I miss them so much, and hope I gave them as much by being their granddaughter, as they have given me.  So, at this point in my life, when I am so far from family and home, I like to think two very special ladies are along for the ride.  And loving every minute.